Random stories from the Magdalene Order
by midnightdothack
Summary: What happenes when the CC cast must struggle learning in a school 30 freakin stories high and go on adventures? Chaos is bound to happen someday with Joshua who cant count, Aion who wants world domination, and Azmaria who wants to sleep! Chapter 12 up! FI
1. Aion, the evil teacher from hell

Hello and welcome to Random Stores from the Magdalene Order version 1.2! I thank ninalinda234's help for helping me replace chapters (somehow I didn't know how to do it) and now you are reading the fixed 1.2 version of this story because most of the typing errors I have fixed and have edited some parts out.

Chapters 1, 4-9 have been edited as of January 28, 2006. If there is a typo or any BIG mistake, please tell me! I may sound weird but I'd like my stories at least 90 percent typo-free.

Disclaimer: No I do not own Chrno Crusade. If I did, then...who knows?

Now enjoy! Please?

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**Introduction**

This fanfiction contains (insert number of chapters that will be published soon) about the whoooooooooooole Chrno Crusade cast at the Magdalene Order when its a school. So please...dont be confused when I call the Order a school and when the sinners and other invade it.

Before you read on there is something you should know before you get confused to hell:

The Magdalene Order was accidentally built in stories

...It was suppose to be ONLY one story high, with thirty classrooms all in a row or in some weird order. But instead it is thirty stories high with a single classroom in each story. The mean people...er...builders who built it said they were very, very sorry.

The Chrno Crusade cast at the Magdalene Order, including the sinners and such really love having a freakishly tall school that will eventually fall and kill them one day. They get to have an extra-large playground.Whoo.

The Chrno Crusade cast that you will eventually read about all go to class on the very top floor, which is the 30th story (there is no attic).

From what you will about to read, these stories you will read, they will be strange and extremelly, extremely silly. That is true. But then again, if I told the Chrno Crusade cast about you people reading this right now, they will think you are the ones that are strange and extremelly silly. That is probably true too, since everybody has a silly side.

And if you didn't read the summary, the author got this weird idea from a series called 'Wayside School'. If you haven't read it go check it out. Its an awesome book : )

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now that the intro is done here's the first chapter. and yes... the intro and the first chapter are suppose to be together.

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**Aion**

Aion had pointy ears, long white hair, and tanned skin which made him look like a old hispanican(a/n: sorry to offend the hispanicans and the the elderly! just a random though) He was the meanest teacher ever in the Magdalene Order. He taugh on the thirtieth story.

"If you people are bad, answer a problem wrong, or fool around," he warned, I'll whack you with my magical stick and turn you into cookies!" Aion didn't like stupid people, but he loved cookies.

Joshua couldn't add. He knew how to subtract, multiply, divide, and do algebra but he couldn't even count. But he knew if he answered even the simplest problems wrong he would be turned into a cookie. So he copied from Azmaria. He really didn't like to cheat but he didn't want to be turned into a cookie. Then again, Aion never taugh him how to add.

One day, Aion caugh Joshua copying off Azmaria's paper. He whacked his magical stick on Joshua's head and turned him into a cookie. The he whacked Azmaria on the head and turned her into a cookie for letting him cheat on purpose.

"Hey that isn't fair," said Rosette. "Azmaria was only trying to be nice and helpful"

Aion whacked her with the stick and turned Rosette into a cookie. "Now...does anyone have a opinion?" he questioned.

Everyone was dead silent.

Aion laughed a stupid laugh and placed or dropped the three cookies on his desk.

Genai started to wimper. He couldn't help it. He didn't want to be a delicious cookie.

"I don't allow stupid assholes crying in my classroom," said Aion. He whacked his stick and Genai was a cookie too. "Now does anyone have STILL object?"

Dead silence.

For the rest of the day, everyone was silent and scared. When they got home they were too scared to do anything. But Joshua, Azmaria, Rosette, and Genai weren't able to go home. Aion just let the lie on his desk. They were able to talk but they didn't have a lot to talk about. Everyone was worried about them.

They next day Satella was late for school. As soon as the arrived in the classroom, she was turned into a cookie. Fiore sneezed during math. She was also turned me into a cookie. Chrno said, "God bless you." when Fiore sneezed. Aion whacked him on the head with the stick thing. Chrno turned into a cookie. Shader tried to run away. She was half way to the door when Aion grabbed the stick. When she touched the door Aion looked as if he was an evil caveman with a stick headed for Shader. By the time Shader opened the door and had a foot outside, Aion whacked her. Shader became a cookie. Aion picked up the cookie and dropped it on this desk, which made the cookie Shader say something like "Ow! Watch where you land me, bastard!" but he was much too busy to hear her. The three nuns, Claire, Anna, and Mary laughed. Aion bopped then on the head and they became cookies. Now he had 12(a/n: i dont know..i lost count)cookies - Joshua, Azmaria, Fiore, Satella, Rosette, Chrno, Genai, Claire, Anna, Mary and Shader.

Remington the gym teacher/janitor/electrician/plumber guy, walked into the classroom. He had missed everyone at lunch and recess. He had heard that Aion was a really mean teacher. So he came up to see for himself. He saw the 12 cookies on Aion's desk. "I must be wrong," he though,. "He must be a good teacher to give the class cookies." He left and walked back down to the grass/playground.

The next day more cookies were pilled on the desk. Remington the gym teacher/janitor/electrician/plumber guy came back up. He saw all those cookies on Aion's desk. There were only less than 4 people left in the class. "He must be the best teacher in the world," he though.

By the end of the day, everyone except Aion had turned into delicious cookies. Aion was delighted to see this. "Fabulous!" he said, "Now I don't have to walk up thirty stairs or teach stupid people ever again!"

Suddenly cookie Joshua jumped off the desk and bopped Aion on the head. The rest of the cookies followed and/or watched. Aion fell to the floor. The cookies rolled all over him like crazy. "Stop!" he commanded. "Or I'll all make you into cookie dough!" But the cookies didn't stop and Aion could do nothing to stop it.

"Turn us back into humans/demons!" they demanded

"Neveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...oh wait...ah...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!" Aion said.

So Aion just gave up and got beer and he poured it all over the cookies. Soon all the cookies became normal.

"Alright!" said Azmaria. "Let's get Remington! He'll know what to do!"

"No!" screamed Aion. "Or I'll turn you back into cookies!" He grabbed his magic stick but Genai help up a broken car mirror and Aion turned into a cookie.

No one knew what to do. They didn't have a teacher. Even though Aion was mean, they didn't think it would be right to leave him here like this. Otherwise someone might really mistake him for a real cookie and eat him. But no one wanted to touch the magic stick. They were afraid that if they did they might accidentaly hit someone else and turn him into a cookie. Plus, they weren't old enough to get beer.

Remington the gym teacher/janitor/electrician/plumber guy walked in. "Where's Aion?" he asked.

No one spoke a word. Everyone just either stared at Remington or the cookie which was Aion.

"Boy I"m realy hungry, " said Remington. "Maybe Aion won't mind if he let me take a bite in this cookie. He probably has a lot anyways."

He picked up the cookie, which was really Aion, dusted it off, and ate it.

Gasp.

THE END

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Tee hee hee...sorry if this edited version isn't what you liked but any suggestions please include in your review...which reminds me...read and review please!  



	2. Sister Kate and the magic bus of DOOM!

hello everyone! sorry i couldn't update as much. anyways...just looked at some other CC stories..everyone writes better than me. meep. ah..oh wells. this is sorta amature try to me XD since..english class is confusing..

anyways r&r and enjoy.

**warning...this story contains car jacking, evil songs which only have one word in them and other stupid stuff...feel free to read. **

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**Sister Kate**

Sister Kate had a terrible kind face. She stood at the bottom of the Magdalene Order and looked up alllllllll the way to the thirtieth story._ She_ was suppose to teach on the thirtieth story.

The people on the thirtieth story were worried. They haven't told anyone why Aion never ever came back. They hadn't had a teacher for a whole week...or was it days? Maybe months..oh well. They were worried how their new teacher would be like. They had heard that she would be a horrible nice and kind teacher. They were all afraid of horrible nice and kind teachers. Except Remington.

Sister Kate walked up all the thirty flights of stairs all the way to the thirtieth story. She was afraid. She was afraid of the people that she was going to teach. She had heard they would be horrible cute people and demons. She had never taugh horrible cute people and demons. She was afraid of them.

She opened the door to the classroom. She was terribly kind. Everyone could tell just by looking at her. They felt like sheilding their eyes from her kindnessness.

"I don't believe it!" said Sister Kate. "This is a room full of cats!"

Everyone looked at each other. They didn't see any cats. Except Chester, the class pet, but Aion didn't feed him so he died. His corpse lay there a few feet away next to Azmaria's desk. He smelled nice and clean.

"This is ridiculous!" said Sister Kate. "Just ridiculous. I walked up thirty flights of steps for what? To teach a class full of cats! For god's sake I'm a teacher not a cat breeder!"

Everyone looked at her. They didn't know what to say or do. Genai scratched his head.

"Oh I'm terribly sorry," said Sister Kate. "Please dont hate me. I have nothing againts cats. I was really expecting children...and demons. I like cats. I really do. Why ... I'm sure we can play a bunch of kitty games!"

"Hi. " said Genai

Sister Kate would've nearly screamed her little head off and jumped out the window right now, but she has to teach a class full of excorsists/demons/people so too bad...

. "Oh My Gosh...A talking cat! Tomorow I'll bring some tuna for you."

"My name is Genai!" said Genai happily.

Everyone was amazed. Immediately, they all shot their hands up. Not because they were amazed. Everyone just like tuna. Especially Shader.

"I'm sorry," said Sister Kate, "but I don't have enough tuna for all of you. I didn't expect this. Next week I'll go fishing and catch some nice fish!"

"I don't want a banana," said Azmaria. "I'm not a cat."

"Would you like a banana instead?" asked Sister Kate

"Yes thanks you, " said Azmaria. Azmaria liked bananas. She liked to throw the peels at dead hobos.

Just then a random girl with really long that that looked like Mary Magdalene fell out of the sky and into the classroom. She looked exactly like Mary Magdalene. Actually it was her.

Sister Kate looked...looked...actually she didn't look scared, happy, excited, or surprised at all. She just stared at everyone else.

"Now then...who wants to go on a field trip?" asked Sister Kate.

Everyone shot their hands up. Shader shot her hand up so fast that she felt it pop out.

FIELD TRIP! YAY!

Everyone went to the bus stop area place. It was completely empty.

...Until the bus driver who was suppose to drive them crashed into a brick wall very stupidly. Poor bus driver.

"Oh crud...," said Sister Kate. "That was our bus driver. Now what do we do?"

"But teacher," asked Fiore. "Dont YOU know how to drive?"

"Hahahahaha...no"

Everybody just stared in horror as Chrno ran in circles and ran into a pole. And what a very shiny pole it was.

"Okay then..who knows how to drive?" asked Sister Kate. "And this excludes Rosette"

Aion was the only one who had his hand raised besides Rosette(a/n: this was sort of a request from kaitouangel. she wanted aion reincarnated as a student so here you go! reincarnated aion. probably twice as mean but at least he wont turn anyone into a cookie. ok back to the story now)

5 minutes later Aion jacked the amazingly untrashed school bus which everybody got on. He got his car jacking skills from Grand Theft Auto.

Slowly he turned the bus in reverse...slowly slowly...slowly...slo--

"Okay that's it! Put the damn car in reverse for god's sake!" said a very impatinent Rosette who grabbed the wheel and tried to reverse the car herself only to crash the bus into another brick wall. But amazingly it was undented.

"Now I shall take you puny humans and take you to my home planet," said Aion evily as he laughed.

"Demons dont have home planets," corrected Chrno. "Plus I think you've been watching too much Invader Zim"

"Yea your right.."

"Can I sing the the Blah song?"

Everyone nodded their heads which mean he could.

10 MINUTES LATER...

"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah " sang Chrno

"Chrno..." said Aion angrily...

"Awww...blah blah blahdy blah blah The End. OooooOo! Whats that!"

"..Its...the...arcade...place...that..we're..sneaking...out...of...school...for.." said Satella out of breath.

...Will everyone make it alright back to school before Remington comes and chases them down? Will Satella be alright? What will happen next? And will a nuclear bomb explode in the arcade? I dont know! XD

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whoooooooooo... hello how have you readers been doing? having fun? 

i'm not sure if this story is going anywhere yet. i even might discontinue it if the popularity is very low. besides like i mentioned everyone else writes better fanfictions better than me. heck i even have trouble writing essays. heh. if you have more suggestions, comments, stuff, etc please tell me.

er...yea. r&r please.


	3. Joshua and his awesome powers of adding!

hello everybody! sorry i haven't updated for a while..too much homework...and stuff. yay for stuff lol. now back to meaningful things...thanks to all my reviewers! glad you like it

just a short note to kaitouangel...your 'gift' will be probably in the next chapter if i can squish you in XD and just a warning...this chapter might not make alot of sense since i kinda rushed on it a little and did it like...at 11 at night so no flames talking about that. other than that r&r and have fun.

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**Joshua...and his awesome powers of adding! Yay! **

When we last left everyone Satella had fainted, Chrno had to fix the bus since it also crashed into a pole and used up all of its invincibility 'powers', Aion was scribbling stuff on a nearby sidewalk which looked like a plan to rule the world, Joshua was trying to learn how to count with Sister Kate's help, Azmaria fell asleep, and Fiore...had went out to McDonalds to get some lunch. They had arrived at Joe's Arcade Shack which they had sneaked out of school for. Little did everyone know that there were 2 really evil terrorists inside the arcade disguised as some taco stand seller people...

INSIDE THE ARCADE!

"Ouch! Watch where you're going!" said one of the really evil terrorists. His name was Bill Borborschkiellbelldude.

"But...but..its not my fault!" cried the other really evil terrorist. His name was Bob Willsueyou. Yes...an actually fake terrorist named...Bob. Tremble in fear people. Tremble! Okay I'

BACK TO THE BUS...THING...THING!

"Joshua," said Sister Kate "You can't go on forever never learning how to count."

"Oh yes I can!" said Joshua. "You'll see! One day I'll have a huge-ginourmous army of people who've never learned to count! And we will rule something!"

"Fine..how much hair does Chrno have?"

"...a lot?"

Sister Kate sighed. If Joshua continued at this rate he would never learn how to count. Then his dream of evil people who couldn't count would come true. Suddenly, Joshua and Sister Kate heard a really loud noise as if something has dropped a really heavy wrench.

Actually the sound WAS cause by the wrench...which Chrno had dropped and had landed on Aion's right foot and made him scream really high...like "&(#)$&$($&#(#))()$)(#)&(#&#&)f&($$)($&()($)! WATCH WHERE YOU DROP THAT WRENCH, STUPID!"

Of course..Chrno was too busy running around to hear Aion. He had ran around in random circles and took of his COAT. And for some apparent reason, he though he was naked. (a/n: okay flamers/fangirls...3...2...1..scream)

"Yay!" said Chrno happily. "I'm stupid!" Then Chrno ran in random circles and bumped into another pole which was much shinier than the last one he had bumped into.

"Oh goodie!" though Satella in her mind. "Now I'm not unconcious alone anymore!"

(what happened to the plot?)

"I ate it," smiled Chrno.

Okay lets skip about 2 hours. They're already in the arcade. When suddenly Bill, one of the terrorist jumps out of nowhere and ties everyone up except Joshua and Chrno.

"Oui oui!" says Bill. "I have caught some hostageses!"

"Wait...you're saying we're hostages?" asked Aion. "NEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! I SHALL NOT BE A HOSTAGE TO THESE FILTHY HUMANS!"

(ahem)

Um...yea. Anyways the terrorist Bill and Bob have now taken almost everyone hostage and for their really evil plan they will decide to attach a nuclear bomb on them so that the whole city will explooooooooooode! And they have made a deal with Joshua...that if he can count to 1000000000 or outsmart them, they will set everyone free. But as you know Joshua can't count.

"But I can't count!" said Joshua.

"Joshuaaaaaaaaa!" screamed Rossette. "If you dont set anyone free I'll kill you!"

"But...but...I caaaaaant!"

Just then the little think in Joshua's head that makes everyone smarter started to light up. And that ment Joshua had an idea! Yay! And now this is his brilliant plan...

"Chrno!" asserted Joshua. "Which way is our school?" Chrno pointed up.

Joshua laughed a very stupid yet evil laugh. "Hehe no Chrno. I mean the Magdalene Or-..I mean school."

"Oh..here."

"Our school dammit! Which way is our school!"

"Um...there...no...ah! There!" Chrno points at the terrorist's taco stand.

"Does that loook like a freaking school to you!"

"Yes!"

Joshua bonked his head on the floor 10 times. Bob laughed.

"Bob!" said Bill "I though master trained you not to laugh!"

"Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa haaaaa" sang Chrno. "Bob is baaaad. Bob is baaaad. Bob is baaaaaaaaaaaaad!"

"No I'm not," said Bob who tried not to cry.

"You skipped your master's try-not-to-laugh-lessons!"

Then Bob cried like a stupid sissy and ran away, tripping on the taco stand and revelaing that the nuclear bomb the terrorist bad spoken about was actually the size of a bead.

So afterwards everyone was set free, got to jump on Bill's stomach, and got free tacos. Just then Fiore and Azmaria came.

"Holy ..." said Fiore. "If I would've know, I would've have bought all these Chicken Nuggets."

"I like chicken nuggets" said Azmaria. "And I only have one line to say!"

Then everyone grabbed the chicken nugget bags and started eating...not like savages but more like fancy and rich british people back in the old days. After that they headed back to the school where they found Remington pinned down to a fallen tree.

"Hey...anyone..help me?"

Just then...dun dun dun duuuuuun! Superman came!

"Hi I'm Superman," said Superman.

(we know that dimwit. this chapter is suppose to be about Joshua not you...wait...mwahahahaha...)

Suddenly a crazy bad driver ran over Superman and his cape got stuck to the cab's winshield. Ouch.

"Joshua I have no choice but to let you save Remington," said Sister Kate.

"But Sister Kate, can't we just leave him here?" said Joshua.

"No way!" said Aion

"Save the poor man," said Mary Magdalene

"Just save the stupid guy!" said Sister Mary.

"Please?" said Sister Claire

"I'm hungry" said Satella and Fiore

"Zzzzzzzzzz" said Azmaria

"Hi" said Rossette

"...Claire killed Billy-Bob" sobbed Sister Anna, holding up her almost broken water bottle.

"Save holy person!" said Chrno.

Everybody looked at him as if he had glued pancakes on his face. (pancakes are yummy)

"Think about it this way..if any fangirls chase us we can use Remington as a shield."

Everybody clapped at Chrno's brilliant plan. Eventually Joshua was able to count and save Remington since for some apparent reason, his new learning of counting and his awesome apostle powers are strangely combined together so that whenever Joshua counts...he levitates stuff. Meaning...he can make many things float in thin air. Awesome isn't it? Once Remington was freeed, they ductaped Remington to a tree. But then they felt bad for Remington feeling so alone so Mary Magdalene bought him a pet rock and named it Chestor. Note that its not CHESTER but CHESTOR.

THE END.

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yay::faints: chapter done! took me a while to write it. oh and by the way if anyone reading this has a account can anyone tell me how to modify or replace chapters? i want the intro combined with chapter one but i'm having a really hard time finding how to do so...i got the 'claire killed billy-bob' idea from my friend. my friends natasha and michelle were trying to get bob or michelle's water bottle and natasha crushed it on purpose but it didn't broke. so when michelle got bob back she told the teacher "teacher guess what?

teacher: what?

michelle: natasha broke bob. (shows teacher bob)

teacher: oh..um...thats..so sad..

hope you like this! if you got anymore new ideas please tell me! you never know when i might run out of them...and dont forgeeet... to R&R!


	4. Azmaria weights really light! Really!

Hello once again! To..the...edited...version 1.2...of...Random stories from the...ah you know it. Review response has been deleted in this chapter for a reason. Sorry. 

Um..yea. sorry i havent updated in a while...i have a school to kill homework, piano's and violins to practice, art sites to update, things to do, pencils to use, sketchbooks to draw, drawings to color, fanfictions to be written and yea..lots of stuff...  
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Azmaria...weights really light! No seriously she does!

Azmaria had long, light purple hair. People said she looked very lightweight which was true.

She weighed only 50 pounds excluding her clothes. Thats considered shrimpy if you were her age. She always wore this longsleved weird purple dress with white stuff with stockings. The purple part weighed 4.9 pounds. The white stuff weighed about 0.1 pounds. Most likely, that would be the weight of one-tenth of a penny. Her hair weighed about 10 pounds.

Azmaria sat next to a window in Sister Kate's class. Usually she spent her time looking out the window watching birds fly or to watch the clouds move. But Sister Kate didn't mind. Sister Kate said that people learn more things when they look out then window doing nothing.

Azmaria also often fell asleep smack dab in the middle of a lesson. But Sister Kate didn't mind either. She said that people learn more things when you fall asleep.

Azmaria usually spent more than half of the classtime either watching things out of the window or going to sleep. Sister Kate thought that Azmaria was the smartest student ever. Probably smarter than Albert Einstein.

One day the temperature reacher over 90 degrees which made everything hot since the stupid heat somehow killed the air conditioning machine...thing (even though there were traces of much evidence that Santa could've ran over the air conditioning machine.).

All of the windows and doors were open and the class were on the computers at the back of the classroom researching about dead presidents, but Azmaria still wore her longsleved dress to school. She sat near the window. The heat made her feel funny. Feel funny as in I-need-to-go-home-or-else-this-heat-is-going-to-kill-me funny. Azmaria felt sleepy during the research lesson and laid her head smack dab on the keyboard. And somehow she managed to open up a word document thing and type the declaration of imdependance. (a/n: hotkeys/shortcuts are your frieeeeeeds ;).

"Sister Kate," said Satella. "Azmaria feel asleep."

"Thats good," said Sister Kate. "She must be learning something good."

Azmaria began to snore and drool. (ok yea...go 'eeeeewwwww!' if you wanna)

"Sister Kate," said Satella. "Azmaria is snoring."

"Yes I can see that," remarked Sister Kate. "She must be so tired from all this learning today. I wonder why every school student isn't like this."

Azmaria began to fumble and roll around. She plopped her head onto her desk, then Satella's, then Chrno's, then Fiore's, Then Genai's, and back to her's. Satella screamed. Then...the most dramatic thing happened...

Azmaria FLEW out the window

(...Okay so she didn't really fly out the window. In the real Wayside School book, Sharie rolls out the window. So yea...back to the story)

Azmaria actually fell out the window...and what a fun experience it was. Kids dont try this when you're in a hotel or at home.

As you might already know Sister Kate's class was on the thirtieth story. So basically Azmaria had some time to wake up, scream, and fall splat on the ground. Luckily this is not a blood-and-gore story so that wont happen.

After Azmaria had fallen about 5 stories or so, she finally woke up. She looked around. She was very confused. If she wasn't in Sister Kate's class, where was she? Meh...guess she didn't really care. So she went back to what she though was beddy-time and closed her eyes. By that time she had already fallen 15 more stories.

If you haven't know yet, the Magdalene Order had a freakishly huge playground. And Remington the ... gym teacher whatever miracously saw the litle Azmaria fall...like a sack of potatoes...but in a gracefuller way. He ducked under the swings, avoided the basketball courts, cut across the kickball/softball field, also avoided the volleyball courts, ran, tripped, then ran over the blacktop and finally caught Azmaria before she even went 'splat!' on the ground.

The people who were secretly watching Azmaria fall cheered. Not because Remington caught her.Most likely because they didn't want to see the little girl go splat so young. Azmaria woke up later in Remington's arms.

"Fudge it, Remington," she said. "Why did you have to wake me up? I was having the coolest dream. I felt like I was falling and people were cheering for me."

"I'm sorry Azmaria," said Remington.

" 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry ' ," Azmaria repeated. "Is that really all you can say? First I get a little tired and then I find you here, the person who freaking woke me up! Dont bother me again or else Joshua will have your head off!" She laughed and hugged Remington until he fell. Fortunatelly, this was the time that Azmaria could escape, use her awesome apostle powers, and run him over, but this isn't a blood-and-gore story. Yet.

Eventually Azmaria did win and got to go back to class to Sister Kate's room. After that, everyone must have forgot about it since when she came back in, no one could recall what happend to Azmaria. Weird.

That very evening, when Azmaria went to sleep, she couldn't even fall asleep. She even tried using her dead uncle's sleeping pills, but she still couldn't sleep. She just wasn't tired at all.

What a happy ending right?

WRONG!

Suddenly Kaitou Angel came to the Magdalene Order and painted the classroom red, replaced the computers with better ones, and gave everybody an apple. Yay for apples! Then she left and tapped Remington to a tree again. Remington got mad and sweared, which made Santa Claus cross him out of the good list even though he wasa priest.

Santa: Too bad...you could've gotten hookers for Christmas. (wow...thats was really PG-13)

THE END

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yay! my work is finished for now! hope you liked chapter 4 and if send you those weird emails of updation or something sorry. i finally found a way to combine chapters! (well not really..but close!) oh and is everyone watching hurricane wilma? i have the relatives down in florida and i know others here have the relatives too so lets all wish them luck! 

remember to r&r...please?


	5. BONUS Adventures of Remington!

Needless to say, this was edited too.

But not a lot so yay.

Um...read and review please.

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**THE ADVENTURES OF REMINGTON!**

**A Special Bonus **

One day, Remington was outside the Magdalene Order cleaning the playground from any unidentified thingies.

"La la la la la laaaaaa" sings Remington

Suddenly, a giant pink UFO mysteriously comes. Remington, unfortunatelly, doesn't see or hear it.

"We have taken over more than half of your citiy's population" says the UFO. "Come with us and we will set your people free!"

Remington doesn't hear it.

"A-HeM!' says the UFO a little louder.

Remington STILL doesnt hear it.

"WE HAVE YOU PRECIOUS PET ROCK ONBOARD WITH US, DANG YOU!"

Remington, starled by the news about his pet rock, Chestor, suddenly transforms into...Super Remington! Unfortunately he's still wearing the same things as he was 1.5 seconds ago.

'Thiefs!" says Remington. And he uses his super priest powers to summon his mighty animal friends, which tangles the UFO and crashes it onto the blacktop.

"Dang it Remington!" says a Shader who suddenly appeared out of nowhere and slaps Remington with those fan-like thingies. "I just finished painting the blacktop!"

"I had to do it"! says Remington in a dull heroic voice, which I may point out, is not very heroic at all.

Shader sighs. "Blah...why does this chapter have to have the spotlight on YOU!"

"Because!"

Everyone looks around.

"Who's voice is that!" says a very distrurbed Aion. "And I was just taking a shower!" Aion shows his rubber ducky even though he still has his clothes on and his ducky is dry.

"Why..it is..no one other than...ME! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH- (coughcough) -HAHAHAHAH!"

"Um..yea. Just tell us who you are." .Everyone looks ready to run into a pole due to this chapter's lack of plotnessness.

"Fine!" says the voice angrly. "I am no one other than...Kaitouangel! BWAHAHA!"

Everyone shivers in terror like little kids who are scared of the dark.

3 HOURS LATER

Everyone goes to this party with great drinks, DDR, games, garfield dolls, giant kicky bags to kick, but most of alll...

EVERYONE GOT FREE PIZZA. YAY FOR PIZZA!

THE END

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Yep! that definatelly made no sense! but oh well! 

like i said sorry this wasn't a really good mini chapter but sorry. i hope you still like the story so far.


	6. Fiore

Hello my readers, sorry updating was too long. my piano teacher is really pressing me to practice hard for the winter recital and i just have lots of homework. plus i need to finish all the art i owe to people.

yea..anyways on with the story! and once again sorry for the long update. sorry for mispellings. did this on a rush hour and i dont think i had time to check it. anyways enjoy!

(edit- this WAS edited! Ha ha to me!)

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**Fiore**

Fiore was a normal student with a normal sister and with normal friends.Yes...

She had a nice life didn't she? Maybe. Maybe not. But here is her story anyways.

"Your pink dress is so adorable! It makes you really cute." squealed Azmaria with excitement.

"Azmaria, I'm not wearing a pink dress. I am wearing a dress, but its not pink though," said Fiore.

"I know," said Azmaria. "That's what makes you so cute."

Fiore didn't understand. Even for her amazingly high IQ, she still couldn't understand.

"Hey Fiore I love your gold earings," said Claire.

"But I dont wear earings anymore," said Fiore.

"That's why they are cool." said Claire.

"This is getting annoying," said Fiore. "Everyone thinks the pink dress I have is cute. And I'm not wearing _any_ earings. Why, dont you all love my dress? Or my earings that I'm not wearing?"

"Dig the suitcase," said Aion, even though it was really rare for him to say compliments like that.

"I dont have a freaking suitcase!" Fiore screamed, while kicking a desk.

"But thats what makes it so interesting!" said Chrno as he randomly hugged Fiore. Then he hugged Anna, Mary Magdalene, and Rosette. But Chrno wouldn't let go of Rosette so Rosette had to say that Chrno was her evil minion all day long.

"Yes, it is an interesting suitcase," remarked Joshua. "Nice tutu, too."

"I dont wear stinking tutus!" Fiore angrily replied.

"Yes, said Satella. "Nice tutu. It goes well with the earings, sister."

"ARUGUAJILLBLAHARUGHHGUGHGUGHGBLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Cookies"

Finally, Fiore got really pissed and busted out her jewel summoning things and went on a killing rampage. Luckily, everyone had 10 lives so when Fiore tried to kill them they were down to 9. And Chestor, the rock which Remington carelessly and accidentaly left on the floor, was down to 2.0457555555555 lives.

"Ack...so violent...yet such a kind maid lady," croaked Joshua.

Fiore whacked Joshua on the head with a piece of bread that expired 3 years ago but still smelled fresh. "I am not a maid lady!" she retorted. " Wait...wait...oh yea. I am a maid lady."

"Augh...ack...Fi...ore..."

"What!"

"Did I also mention your wearing green boots that make you look like a freak version of the grim reaper?"

Amazingly, even though Fiore went on that rampagious Texas Chainsaw-like massacre-like thing, Sister Kate was too busy grading papers to even notice. Heck, she still didn't notice the massacre thing.

Yes...you wish you had a teacher who was like that huh?

Dont worry. One day if dreams really do come true, a comet will crash into your classroom, thus forcing your teacher in a coma without blood or fake blood. Then, everyone will cheer, jump on the comet which has your teacher under it, and sneak out to Chuck E Cheese's for Free Pizza Sunday.

Oh wait. You dont have school on Sunday.

Fine..if dreams do come true, that comet will crash into your church thing (yes it will go through that big pointy...thing) , thus sorta killing that priest guy/girl who reads stuff outta the bible. And everyone will cheer (yes even the parents) and go home.

Oh sorry. Must've got carried away. Anyways...

Fiore finished whacking Joshua with the bread and headed down the 30 flights of stairs. She whacked herself to see if this was a dream.

It wasn't.

Ouch.

She stopped to go to the bathroom on the 20th story to wash her face. She looked in the mirror.

And in that mirror she saw something.

She saw that she was wearing that pink dress, earings, that suitcase, and green boots.

Then the three nuns, Claire, Anna, and Mary (not Mary Magdalene) come. "Now lets take a close up! Closer...closer...closer..."

"Hey. Go any farther and you'll hit that poor maid lady." says the Janitor.

"Yea we know that!" Anna says. "But I bet Remington saved money on insurance!"

NOW BACK TO FIORE!

Fiore screamed her lungs out. She turned back out of distraction and looked down to her shoes.

But when she looked down, she didn't see that pink dress or those earings or that weird suitcase or those green boots.

She was perfectly fine. She still had on that maid hat thing, her dress with the apron attached to it, and her regular tap shoes.

Finally, Fiore got out of the bathroom, but she didn't know that when the swung the door open she hit a butler named "Chives". Why there is a butler in the Magdalene Order with that funky of a name, I dont know. Ask those Bishop Council people.

Fiore ran outside on the blacktop. She may have loooked normal but she was still freaked out and upset.

Remington unexpedictelly saw her. "Hey Fiore! Why the sad face? he asked. "Come on, smile. It'll make the pink dress your wearing nice."

Fiore screamed. She kicked Remington and tried to jump on his back while he was kneeling on the ground in pain.

"Ouch."

THE END. HORRAY FOR REMINGTON.

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Yes...end of the 5th chapter. haha yes..the part where fiore kicked remington in the you-know-where was really PG-13 XD then again this story is pg-13.

hope you r&r though. much appreciated though. : )


	7. Billy Bob

hello readers! i'm back with a new chapter! sorry to kaitouangel that wanted me to update faster but i was sick for a whole week and when someone's sick their brains cant think good enough. but yea once again sorry for the long delay but please enjoy the next chapter!**  
**

oh yes...happy thanksgiving/christmas/haloween/new years/ fourth of july/st. patricks day/any other holiday! and yes. I dont make sense.**  
**

**

* * *

Billy Bob**

"Class," said Sister Kate. "We are having a new student today."

Everyone yay-ed. They absolutely liked (coughLOVEDANDTORTUREDcoughhackcough) new students. Especially if they were assigned to the thirtieth story. They could always throw dry spit balls at them when Sister Kate had to go to the teacher's lounge to pick up the math and science assigments.

Take the last new kid that was assigned and sent to the Magdalene Order, thirtieth story before Aion was eaten by Remington. (take chap. 1 for reference if you forgot)

His name was Thomas Wator.

Oh yes, Thomas had a fun time on the thirtieth story didn't he? Everyday, he got spit ball-ed, tripped on Remington's left shoe, and was always last picked when everyone played Kickyball. When people ran out of spit balls, they threw rocks. When Remington forgot to wear his left shoe, Thomas tripped on his right one. When Thomas wasn't last to be picked he was either second last to be picked or he had to go sit out.

But then one day Aion (the teacher) made the whole class write a 20 paged essay about cheese due the next day. The problem was that the essay had to be fictional and it couldn't be a story. It also couldn't include talking cheese from Pluto.

Thomas though it was easy since in his last school he was the smartest student in the class. But when Thomas went to go write that 20 paged essay that night he was stuck and he spent the rest of the night wide awake and with no ideas and his brain turned into potato mush.

Then the next day when Aion had to collect the essays, Thomas didn't have his and Aion turned him into a cookie. Then the the Janitor came in and though Thomas was trash and took it all the way down to the basement a.k.a. the janitor's home since thats were the Janitor keeps his trash. Thomas was never heard from again from that day on.

So yes. Now you have heard of the story of Thomas Wator. Why I have included him in this chapter is a surprise later on. No don't scroll down to the end! You'll spoil the ending! But yes enough with that.

"So who's the new student?" Fiore asked.

"Is he a mutant lizard?" asked Sister Anna

"Does he have anything good in his lunch?" asked Rosette.

"Is he a hobo!" screamed Chrno very randomly.

Everyone stared at him.

"I just wanna know if he's a hobo," Chrno said a little sadly.

Then a knock came out of the door.

"Oh that must be the new student!" said Sister Kate. She opened the door to reveal a little boy wearing a unusually red fluffy coat, brown boots that reached to the knee, a Halloween witch's hat, and yellow plastic gloves. He stunk of rotten trash.

"EEEEEEEWWW!" Genai screamed. "Did he even take a bath?"

Afterwards Genai got in trouble and had to sign his name on the 'I am Bad' sheet.

"But Genai is right!" said Satella. "He stinks!"

"Maybe so but he is still a student here," said Sister Kate. "Please tell us your name, dear"

"My name is...Billy Bob and you suck LOLOLOLOLOLOL" said Billy Bob. (yes the 'LOLOLOL' thing is suppose to be there and it means the same thing as 'lol' for those of you who do the internet talk)

Mary Magdalene blinked. "That was mean."

"Well you dont exactly know the definition of 'MEAN' now princess? LOLOLOLOL"

"I'm sure he's jsut a little shy, Mary. Billy, why dont you take off your coat and hat and take a seat?" said Sister Kate.

"No way."

"Please dear. It is-"

"No."

"Billy, jus--"

"No!"

"Billy, please just---"

"NO freaking way granny hag. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL."

Sister Kate was absolutely outrage but seeing that she IS part nun she decided to calmly solve Billy Bob's bad attitude.

"I can help you take off his jacket," voulenteered Fiore.

"What are you suppose to be? A maid? LOLOLOLOLOL" said Billy Bob..

"Hey, Fiore was just trying to help!" said Azmaria.

"Well I dont see you helping, little angel"

"I dont see why you have to be so mean," said the three sisters/nuns.

"Oh yes...I can see you suck so badly your parents had to sneak you in here with a fake name"

"Well I dont see you being any better than them!" Rosette said.

"Ha! I am! I have my OWN mansion, an Xbox 360, 10 limos, 1358 butlers, 38 maids, 18 rooms, 247 computers, 337384 books, and 24 pools! Beat that!"

"Your fancy stuff my ass!" says a random voice.

Everyone gasps.

But yes. Billy would still NOT give up his fluffy jacket.

So...a very mad authoress had to buy a 2 dollar toy chainsaw from Ebay just to cut the fluffy jacket. You could probably hear Billy Bob's voice in the backround that sounds really freaked up like: " NOOOOOO! The maids dig the fluffy jacket!" and you could see giant bits of fluff flying in the air that smelled like garbage. Then something dramatic happened.

They found out that Billy Bob WAS Thomas Wator. Thomas just woke up from a bad coma and became human again. In trying to find his way back to class he tripped on old newspapers, rotten food, and eventually into the Janitors clothes closet where he got his fluffy jacket, Halloween witch's hat, and boots.

Then a rich and fancy guy came and took Thomas away to his mansion. There Thomas lived in luxury with loyal butlers, cute maids, and cool stuff. Why he never questioned this randomness event is unknown.

But yes. So Thomas had to be sent down to the Principals office and he got suspended for insulting the teacher and never showing up.

"Sister Kate, why was Thomas able to become human again when he turned into a cookie?" asked Azmaria.

Sister Kate rubbed Azmaria's head. "Silly. Remember how you were turned into a cookie? Well the Janitor has a secret storage of beer in the basement. Thomas must have been in contact with the beer and returned to normal again."

"Oh. Okay."

Then Azmaria did some random bunny hops and told Remington the story about Billy Bob and how he was actually Thomas.

"Hm..." though Remington. "Billy Bob...Thomas. Wait...Thomas's real name is Billy Bob!"

THE END!

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haha yes. the ending made absolutely no sense! but hopefully you liked this and sorry if the story is a little short. 

but i thank all my reviewers! thank you!


	8. To Italy or suffer!

haha yes, i'm back with a new chapter but in time for chirstmas! how do you feel santa!

santa: ...like a chocholate reindeeer.

yes that made no sense.

guest people in this chapter: pac man and me (the author. i speak sorta in parenthesis like this one)

yes...remember to read and review. and enjoy. 

**

* * *

To Italy or Suffer!**

"Today we are going to be doing CPR," said Remington. In case you havent noticed, Remington was the gym teacher/janitor/plumber and more but since they had a new janitor, Joe, Reming was just a gym/yard teacher/plumber. How everyone had to do CPR for PE beats me. But they're not going to do CPR in PE so Remington is taking a lunch break.

FLASHBACK!

Sister Kate was grading papers one day after school when the speaker came on. It was the voice of the principal, Mr. Principal.

"Attention teachers! Due to the noticabily low excercising that teens get, all students must participate in CPR class and score an B minus or higher or they will get suspended and taken to PE opprotinity substitute school, which is conveniently located all...the way downtown, which is about 3,000 miles away from here. Thank you for your patience."

THE NEXT DAY!

"Class, I have just gotten a notice yesterday that everyone must take part in this CPR class and get a B minus or higher or else you will be placed in PE opprotunity school and get suspended."

Everyone booed.

"NOOOOO!" screamed Shader. "I hate CPR!"

"Hell yeahs!" Genai yelled. "It's like an excuse to kiss a dummy!"

"I don't even know what CPR stands for!" said Aion. "Cee Pee Are! What the hell does that mean!"

"Well...I"m sure that...it might be fun," Fiore said, trying to be encouraging.

"Hah! CPR is for dumb people," said Joshua.

Suddenly Fiore put on her scary opera mask and held Joshua by his shirt collar.

"Master Joshua...you are going to do CPR or no pie for you!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Joshua screamed dramacticly, which I might add, wasn't dramatic at all. "I love pie! How will I live without my pie!"

"You could just jack an airplane and drive to 'Marie Calendars'. They sell pie there," said Rosette.

"I'm there!" Joshua said really happy. "Now to jack a plane!"

Then Joshua sneaked out even though Sister Kate was paying attention and he eventually jacked a plane. But! Due to New York's horrible and really long traffic jams, Joshua was stuck at the airport terminal...for 7 hours straight.

"Curse you God! Curse yoooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"

UP IN THE HEAVENS!

God hears Joshua curse and sends Santa an email to put Joshua on the 'bad list' ".

"Too bad," Santa said, as he crossed Joshua's name off. "You could've got 'world domination' for Chirstmas!"

BACK ON EARTH!

Suddenly evil blobs came in, which gives me, the author, an excuse to include Pac Man in this fanfic! And he blew up!

Then a black taxi came and some FBI people got out of the car, kidnapped everyone (except Sister Kate), and sped to some weird building in Malaysia that looked like a mall.

"Wait!" shouted Rosette. "If we were in New York before and some FBI people drove us to Malaysia, which is across from an ocean, how can the FBI car go through the ocean?"

"Sinple!" said FBI person #1. "There's a giant bridge connecting Europe and America! Just like that Golden Gate bridge in California whatever, but longer!"

"Hey!" shouted some random nerd who does give a crap. "The Golden Gate Bridge wasn't build until after 1920! Or was it 1910?"

Suddenly, Mary Magdalene came in with this stupidly long sword, like the one Cloud Strife has from Final Fantasy 7, and killed the nerd, saying that God made her.

"Ahem, yes!" said FBI person #2. "Now to put this bluntly since our stupid car company charges long distance on the car. We have been ordered by the president of the North Pole (which is not Santa, Jesus, or Hitler) to kidnapp you students to complete your CPR class! Or you shall face the wrath of the Yrusneyl beasts from Italy! Oh yea...the person who speaks on that intercom thingy will help you."

And then everyone walked to this CPR training hall place.

ON WITH THE DANGEROUS CPR TASKS!

_"The first thing you should do is check if the patient has a pulse and is breathing" _said the intercom.

Everyone stared at the dummy that was suppose to be used for CPR practices.

"Magdalene, can't you just use that big sword thingy and save us?" groaned Rosette.

"But God is making me read this!" protested Magdalene, while showing Rosette some book called, How to Stop Killing Everyone Because God is Making You, The Atkins Diet Way.

"Forgot the goddamn book! None of us know CPR and we're all too stupid to save ourselves!"

"OoooH! OoooHhH!" Chrno cried as he frantically raised his hand. Then he ran up to the CPR dummy and performed CPR, the demented way, which I might add, involves killing your patient.

"Congradulations," said FBI person #1. "You have passed. Guess we won't be needing those Yrusneyl beasts."

Then somewhere in Italy, a Yrusneyl beast snorted.

Everyone cheered. Then Joshua, who finally jacked a plane but instead flew to Malaysia, accidentaly ran over FBI person #1 in the process, who was now squashed dead.

"Stop them! They have not really completed CPR training!" said FBI person #2. "Guards! Get them!"

"Magdalene! Save us!" everyone screamed. "That FBI dude is going to make us suffer!"

Magdalene looked up at the ceiling. (to god)

God shruged. "Don't really care."

Magdalene got out a water bottle, sneaked up from behind the guards, and killed them.

Everyone cheered. Again. Then they boarded Joshua's 'jacked' plane and flew back to New York.

But unfortunatelly, as they were passing over Spain, Portugal, France whatever (yes they are all on the route to New York if your flying from Malaysia) the people still fighting that war in Iraq threw those hand grenades up in the air, but it never hit back down. Instead it hit the plane. And it stuck to it. So yes, the plane exploded and landed somewhere between Italy and the Medeteranian Sea!

"Joshua!" screamed Rosette, digging through the sands of some beach. "Speak to me! Anything!"

"Ha...yea I'm alive," coughed Joshua.

"Thank god! Wait...aren't we suppose to be mortal enemies or something?"

"Nah...that's for Chrno and Aion but since Chrno has...'mental issues' they're not like that. And considering we're the only brother-sister pair, blah...yea"

"Never mind that where are we!" said an angry Satella.

"Hm...I got an idea!" said Fiore. "Master Joshua, lie down in the sand and make a sand angel."

"This is absurd. This story isn't going anywhere and the readers probably think this is getting bor--ACK!" Joshua was hit by a flying Ice Cream Cart and promptly laid down and made a sand angel while Fiore observed...stuff.

"We're in Italy," said Fiore, dusting her apron dress.

"FORKS!" shouted Shader pissed. "This whomps! No one in our group speaks Italian or anything near it!"

"DO NOT WORRY MY PEOPLE!" announced Genai. "I speak Italian! It's a lot like Spanish you know!"

"NO IT IS NOT!" said some ice cream stand guy with an Irish accent, getting back his ice cream stand which was on Joshua.

"YES IT IS! I WAS ONCE IN THE MILITARY AND I SERVED FOR THE ITALIAN WAR!"

"THERE WAS NO STINKING ITALIAN WAR IN HISTORY, BITCH!"

"YES THERE WAS! AND TELL THE AUTHOR TO STOP LEAVING THE CAPS LOCK ON!"

Suddenly, Magdalene snuck up behing the Ice Cream man, who she though was the evil pope, and killed him.

"Chrno, your old lover has problems," said Aion.

"What! Do you Mean!" said Chrno ridicuosly. He held up some taco he jacked back when they were still in Malaysia.

(Sorry about the caps lock thing. Will Genai ever prove to anyone that he did serve for some nonexsistent war? Will they ever get out of Italy? Will this fanfiction ever make sense!)

* * *

bah...crappy working brain equals crappy work >> I could've dont better. just dont feel like saving and retyping all over again. too tired...

sorry for the long delay but remember...only a couple more days till chirstmas (well the time when this was posted yea


	9. The Day Stuff Happened

Hello peeps! i'm back and yet again i have another chapter after a long delay. just a quick note to all my reviewers and fans of my stories that i probably wont be able to update again until the end of this month (which is january 2006)or later since i have exams on the 18-20 so probably no updates there. expect a little longer wait for chapter nine.

Yes...now to make this quick...

**disclaimer: no i dont own chrno crusade. i own this fanfiction but not chrno crusade. now have fun. **

oh yes...hope you enjoy chapter 9!

**

* * *

The Day Stuff Happened**

**(what a corny title)**

**(yes it IS definatelly corny!) **

_Now, the last time we left everybody, they got stuck in Italy, Mary Magdalene killed some ice cream guy, Shader was trying to fix the airplane, and now everyone is trying to bury the ice cream man (for Magdalene's sake). _

THE PRESENT

"Dearly friends, we have gathered here today to morn over a special dearly departed soul of this world," Fiore says. "He was very...um...uh...a...loving person. Yeah thats it! A loving person, who, if I might add, we knew for 5 minutes. Let the soul of ...the ice cream man with the Irish accent, live on."

Aion and Genai lower a makeshift coffin made of ice cream cone crumbs, which immediately sets on fire due to the sudden and random fact that there was a forest fire behind them. Everyone looks at Rosette, who forced everyone to attend the 'funeral'.

"What? There aren't many ice cream men working these days."

"Ah, forget it," Aion said picking up an piece of a broken ice cream cone and holding it up in the air. "Besides...he smelled anyway."

Then seagulls game and attacked Aion, due to the fact that seagulls will attack you and steal your food if they see it. And now you can hear Aion screaming in the backround!

"AAAAAAAHHH! MY EYES! MY AWESOME, AND YET NOT SHINY EYES!"

Magdalene began crying her eyes out.

"HWAAAA! WHY! WHY DID I HAVE TO KILL THE NICE ICE CREAM MAN! HWAAAA! GOD, I DIDN'T MEAN TO!'

"Correction: God MADE you," corrected Satella.

"Oh yea..."

Well anyway, they've decided that since it would be too long to wait for Shader to fix the plane all by herself, they all decided to make some shelter or just find a hotel in Italy and kill the manager.

"I vote to find tacos!" Chrno said.

"Er..yes." a nervous Rosette said. "I'll go follow Chrno so he doesn't try to eat another Taxi cab driver. Satella, Aion, and Fiore, you go jack a hotel. Joshua, Genai, Magdalene, Azmaria, and you three nun...people, you go find another plane and jack it."

Fiore raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"Is it even possible to jack a hotel?"

"Yes...if Joshua can jack a plane, you can too!"

So everyone spread out and began doing their jobs. We shall call the group with Joshua "Joshua's Group", the one with Aion "Aion's Group".

AION' S GROUP!

Satella, Aion, and Fiore walked into some weird Italian hotel. Then some hotel employee walked by them.

"Excuse me, sir," Fiore said as she poked the poor employee. "Is this hotel suitable for jacking?"

Aion smaked himself in the forehead _"You dumbass! We want to jack this place without letting anyone know."_

The hotel employee looked at them weirdly. We see a close-up of his name tag: Roberto.

"Why, what is this jacking you...Americans say of? Ja-KING? Why I dont know." said Roberto

Roberto then took his gaze away from Fiore and looked at the red-head Satella, who unfortunatelly was wearing a very revealing outfit that almost made him drool or have a nosebleed. (okay so her outfit isn't THAT revealing but to Roberto it is)

Roberto stared at Satella's...er...um...(coughcough) chest.

While Satella was...not really getting the message that Roberto was being a pervert, Aion and Fiore began to kill random employees just for the heck of it. In one hotel employee they found that he had a $20 Wal-Mart gift card.

"So...er...madam..." Roberto said, sweating like a huge pig. "Er...lovely day huh? Yes?"

Satella blinked. "Why..uh...yes it is."

Satella then, out of nowhere, hugged the guy. Unfortunatelly, she couldn't see that he was blushing and thinking really perverted stuff.

Then Mary Magdalene came (again) and killed the guy.

"HWAAAAA! I KILLED ANOTHER ONE!" Mary Magdalene said as she once again cried her eyes out.

Fiore sat down next to her and pulled out How to Stop Killing People Because God is, Once Again, Making You, The Atkins Diet Way.

WITH ROSETTE AND CHRNO!

Unfortunatelly for Rosette, Chrno was running away from her and with a necklace, 3 ice cream cones, a tree branch, 8 stuffed animals, a butterfly, and a microphone stand with no microphone.

"Chrno! Get back here! Sister Kate's gonna kill me if you Hit-and-Run!" screamed Rosette.

Then Chrno ran into a really shiny pole and fainted.

"Dammit Chrno, I swear you do have mental problems..." murmured Rosette, who now had to drag an unconcious Chrno along with the necklace, 3 ice cream cones, a tree branch, 8 stuffed animals, a butterfly, and a microphone stand with no microphone.

JOSHUA'S GROUP! YAY!

Joshua and everyone else was stuck at the International Italian airport highway/terminal. Unfortunatelly, no one had told him that the real evil Pope was coming to town and the paparazzi was there. This is what Joshua's Mind said:

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Azmaria petted Joshua. "It's okay Joshua-san. We'll make it there...eventually."

Joshua glared at the white/lavender haired apostle. "Since when are you interesting in japanese?"

"Since I found out this cool T-shirt with Beyblade, Digimon and Pokemon on it."

"...Azmaria...those shows are for little kids."

THE NEXT DAY...

Everyone arrives back to where the plane crashed unharmed and not hungry...somehow.

"Eureka! I have fixed the plane!" Shader remarks. "And its better than before!"

Everyone hops into the plane and in 10 minutes, it takes off.

"YAY!"

And 2 hours later, they made it back safely to the Magdalene Order, only to find out that Remington was yet again, taped to a tree and his mouth covered by his fanpeople and stripped of his clothes. He now wore only his boxers.

"Dude! Get some clothes will you!" says everyone.

"MmhmNnnN! Mnn Mnn Mnmnhmm MNMNmmmhnmMmn Mnmn MhNMNN NNNmnmhnn nMmnmNmnnh NnNm MNh!"

"What? You're saying that little Timmy is drowning in the showers?" says Aion.

"Mnn Mnn"

"You're saying that you found people selling pie on Ebay?" asks Joshua.

"Mnn Mnn"

"You're saying that you bought porno magazines?" asks Satella.

"Mnn Mnn"

"You're saying that you learned how to speak in Thai?" asks Rosette.

"Your saying that you found tacos!" asks Chrno.

"Your saying that you got raped by fanpeople so you said to everyone 'Rapist no raping?'" asks Fiore.

"Mnmnm!" says Remington.

Everyone stares at Remington.

"Wow...our gym teacher got 'raped' by his fanpeople and said that.." Shader said.

Suddenly, Sister Kate comes running down the blacktop.

"Goodness gracious! I though you all had died!" says Kate, with a sigh of relieve.

"No we didn't. But Remington got raped." says Aion. He then peels off the tape on Remington's mouth.

"OUCH! Oh...erm...yes. No I didn't get raped! Some psyco bitch taped tried to be all sexy to me and I fell for it and now I'm stuck in this tree!"

"...Wow...our gym teacher is a real idiot" whispers Magdalene.

"Yup."

THE END.

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yes...one chapter done and more to go.

just to let you know, if this story is popular enough, i'll make a sequel to this:-)

and now a word from the big ad:

**Buy or die!**

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	10. Chrno and the Cookie Factory

Hello and welcome to the next chapter of this fanfic! Yaaaaaay!

...I gotta stop eating chocolate.

** Disclaimer:** I do not own anything in this fanfiction. I do own this fanfiction though, but not anything mentioned in it.

Now sit back, read and review please!

Notice: In the real Chrno Crusade anime, they did something different with Chrno's past. This chapter is pretty much about Chrno's past but parodified. Well it isn't really parodied, since there wasn't any evidence that they robbed a bank...

Why am I telling you this when you can just read this?

XD Tee hee hee.

**

* * *

Chrno and the Cookie Factory**

Once upon a time, there was a little demon named Chrno. He had purple hair and was a nice person.

"OOooooohhhh! Lookies here!" screamed Chrno.

Chrno used to be friends with this other demon named Aion and 5 other demons too, but then this pretty pretty light from the sky hit Chrno and made him all...er...'stupid'. But thats not until he gets hit by a brick wall. Later.

One day, Chrno decided to rob a bank with his friends, even though banks didn't exist back in the 1900's. The demons (which were Aion, Chrno, Rizel, Genai, etc etc) stole everything and ran the heck outta there when the British police came. These British police didn't have guns but they would hit you with their nightsticks if you commited a crime.

"Oh no! It's the evil Britishes!" yelled Aion. "They have come to tax us! RUUUUUUUN!"

So the demons ran the heck outta there and into an alley when a brick wall fell onto Chrno. That's when he had brain damage and taken to Demon Hospital USA in New York. Fortunatelly, the damage he had was not life threatening. Unfortunatelly, Chrno would have to be stupid for the rest of his life (a/n: no offense to anyone who is or knows a disabled...sorry).

This is how is was the first day Chrno regained concience in the hospital.

DAY 1

"I want pancakes!" Chrno screamed. He began to suck his pinky.

"No way." Rizel said back. "Doctor Billy Joe Bob Sue said that you shouldn't eat anything until you feel better."

"I want pancakes anyway!"

"...NO FREAKING WAY."

"I want pancakes!"

"...eep."

"Pancakes, pancakes, eat them with a fork! Pancakes, pancakes, eat them with a spoon!"

"...help?"

"Pancakes!"

"ALRIGHT ALREADY! I'LL GO DOWN TO IHOP AND GET YOU SOME FREAKING PANCAKES!" Rizel screamed. She then walked down across the street to Ihop, which sells pancakes, and ordered some pancakes. Unfortunatelly they were out of regular pancakes and all they had were caramel pancakes covered with whip cream and a strawberry. Rizel though it wasn't anything wrong and hoped that in buying the 48 cent pancakes would make the purpled-haired demon shut up. But when Rizel came back with the pancakes...

AFTER CHRNO EATING PANCAKES

(note that all the abused capital letters were on purpose)

"WHOOOOOOoooooOOOoooo! WHoooooOOooooOOOO! TEeeeeeeeEEEEEee HHHHeeeeeeeEEEeee! HHheeeeeeeEEeeeeE" Chrno screamed indistinctively.

_I knew I should've went to Wal-Mart and bough pancake mix_, though Rizel.

DAY 2

It was 7:36 A.M and Chrno was wide awake, playing some game on the computer at full volume.

Then it was 7:42 A.M and Chrno brushed his teeth with milk and cheese.

Then came 8:24 and Chrno played DDR (a.k.a Dance Dance Revolution) on heavy. He got a B.

Finally he woke up Aion and the others by singing "I Like Eggs" at full volume with a band of stick people (as in a rock band) called "The Stick People".

"ALRIGHT ALREADY I'M UP!" screamed Aion, "NOW SHADDAUP AND GET YOUR CORN FLAKES!"

"Yaaaaaaaaaay! Corn Flakes!" shouted Chrno. Then the purple-haired demon began to...slam his face on the wall like an idiot.

"You dumbass!" Shader screamed, wiping off the paint dust on Chrno's face. "We're still paying rent in this hospital! Ugh! Why couldn't you been not stupid?"

"Hmmmmm...I dont knowwwwww!" Chrno said in a child-like voice.

DAY 3

Everyone was trying to think of a way to get out of the hospital without paying rent (the hospital was sort of life a boarding house thing) when...

"HA! Thats it!" Genai exclaimed as he pointed to the ceiling and stood one foot on a chair, the other on the ground as if he was doing that one disco move. Everyone except Chrno looked at him as if he was wearing a huge pink tutu that actually fitted on him. Chrno, on the other hand, was staring at the sun, who he "though was shiny and wanted it."

"We'll go to town and rob a bank! That way, we can pay rent here, then move in to another place! It's genius!" Genai said.

Apparently, no one told Genai that there weren't any banks in a walk's distance and all the cars worked like crap right now.

2 HOURS LATER DOWNTOWN

"Dammit! There are no banks in this freaking city!" Genai said. He slammed his fist at the sidewalk.

"Duuuuude, stop punching sidewalks like you did with the last 38 streets and chill," Aion said as he put a hand on his fellow friend's shoulder. What a Kodak moment.

"Ah!" Chrno exclaimed. He pointed to a building across the street.

"What?" asked everyone.

"Ah!"

"What?"

"AH!"

"What? Little Timmy is stuck in the well?"

"AHHHH!" Chrno exclaimed louder, pointing at a cookie store with a sign that read "The Cookie Factory - Only the best!" on it.

Everyone shrugged. No harm done to a cookie store right?

Wrong. Well...maybe. Maybe not.

As soon as everyone walked in, Aion gasps. There were about 5 people standing near the counter. Aion sneered at them. They were obviously...

"The Evil Villans in Lemons," Aion said.

Rizel, Genai, and Shader all stared at him. "The what?" they all asked.

"Well well, if it isn't Roberto 'Aion' Bob-Joe," laughed the leader of the 'Evil Villans in Lemons'(aka EVIL), Bob Willsueyou, who was wearing a red jacket, buckled up with black pants and dyed red hair. Remember the chapter where everyone went to the arcade place? Yea..that's the Bob I'm talking about.

"What the hell?" asked Genai.

Bob then went into some weird battle stance. "You are a POKOMON master! I must challenge you!" (a/n: yes i spelled it correctly. just didn't take 'pokemon' cause i felt like it, and fear of copyrightness)

Aion blinked. "Hah! Give it up, bitch! You're out numbered!" He walked to the side to reveal himself, Rizel, Genai, Shader, and Chrno.

Bob snorted. "Wrong, bitch!" He also sidestepped to reveal his 'awesome' team, himself, a girl with green pigtails, a monk named Monk, a can of beer, and some kid named Billy with an afro.

"Hyaaaaaaaahhh! Go! GreenTea!" Bob shouted. He then proceeded to open his jacket to throw a plastic square pokoball on the ground. (a/n: you know those pokemon ball things they used to sell in Burger King back like in 2003 or so? thats what I mean).

The pokoball exploded and revealed a small little creature that resembled a water bottle. Only with mouth and eyes.

"GreenTea!" it said.

"What the hell?" asked Genai.

"Fine. I accept your challenge!" Aion said, "Go CheeseDude!" Aion then searched somewhere around his belt and also threw a square pokoball. The pokoball exploded, too. Out came something that resembled...a box! Only with eyes, mouth, and arms.

"Cheeeeese!" The thing said.

"What the frick?" asked Genai.

"Hah. What weaklings!" Monk said. "I shall defeat you all with my pinky!" He sticked out his pinky and everyone fainted. Even Monk, well...except for Chrno and Bob.

"Hahahahahahahaa-coughcough...bwwahahahahah!" Bob yelled through the dead corpses. "I shall defeat you here and now, weenie! GreenTea! GO!"

"GreenTea..."

"What? NO! I dont freaking care if your hungry! Fight now, bitch!"

Chrno yawned. "This is kinda boring. Let's make is funner! Hot-Dog!"

"What!"

Unfortunatelly, it came too late. Chrno had somehow already got his hands on a pokoball and it blew up to reveal...a hotdog. With eyes.

The hotdog then shooted lasers out of its eyes and killed GreenTea.

"What the hell!" asked Bob.

"You don't understand..."Chrno said. "The hotdog shoots lasers out of its eyes."

"Fah Wah Lah Lah Lah!" said the Hot-Dog.

"The hell with that! I know!" Bob said. "Fine! I admit defeat!" He kneeled down to retrieve the remains of GreenTea when a foot stomped on his back.

"AAAAAAHHH! MY BACK! MY PRECIOUS BACK! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" Bob said. "ALL I COME WAS TO AVENGE MY COMRADE, BILL, BUT NOOOOOOOO EVERYONE HAS TO GO AND BE PSYCHO B--" Bob passed out before even finishing his sentence.

"Bwahahahahahaha!" Aion evily laughed. He patted Chrno on the shoulder who was...hugging Hot-Dog.

Aion looked at Chrno, then at Hot-Dog, then at Rizel, and back to Hot-Dog and Chrno.

What another Kodak moment.

Then Chrno ate Hot-Dog, just for the hell of it.

Hey, Hot-Dog tasted just like a hotdog.

"FAH WAH LAH LAH LAH LAH LAH LAH LAAAAAAHHHH!" The Hotdog-like creature screamed.

While Aion, Bob, Genai and Rizel were trying to get the half-eated Hot-Dog out of Chrno's mouth, Shader nodded her head in disagreement.

When they were unable to retrieve Hot-Dog, Chrno ate the rest of him. Then, the day that Chrno met Mary Magdalene, Hot-Dog was reincarnated to Hot-Dog 2, which was in a human form with 4 arms.

Then Hot-Dog 2 bitch-slapped Chrno for good measures.

Poor Chrno.

THE END

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Yup. Another chapter made...and delayed. Ah...(slumps back in chair) this author is a big slacker. I feel so unaccomplished since the last chapter didn't have much review and it wasn't that good. 

Moo...just read and review...pretty please?

...Buttered Chicken anyone?


	11. March of the Band People

Gwah...so sorry to you readers! I've gotten sick recently and I cant seem to get my butt off the computer when I should be typing up a game guide for a site, doing some art, studying things, etc etc etc blah blah fishcakes blah blah..

Yea..I'm sorry if I didn't review to your stories! I will get to them soon! For now please enjoy this chapte

I also apoligize in advance for this chapters, would-be shortness and for the crappy ending. Enjoy?

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March of the Band People**

Sister Kate handed everyone out assorted intruments. "Today," she said to the class. "We are going to perform in the All-State Festival and Competition in two weeks! Isn't that exiting!"

Everyone booed. If it was one thing they hated, it was competing againts the smart people who were going to 'own' them anyway.

"Do we have to?" groaned Rosette.

"Yes, you have to," replied Sister Kate. Then she smacked Rosette upside the head for good measures.

Everyone groaned. If it was another thing they hated, it was being forced to do something they never wanted to do anyway.

"Stop whinning!" yelled Sister Kate. "And Chrno, stop trying to eat the clarinet!"

Of course, Chrno was almost done trying to eat half of it left while Aion painted his drum kits green, Rosette threw her cymbals out the window, Fiore was cleaning her trombone, Joshua was trying to figure out why the trumpet was colored the way it was, Azmaria...well, she used her guitar as a pillow. The three nuns, Mary, Anna, and Claire had no idea how to use the xylophone and broke it along the way. Genai got to play the acordion and Shader got a free keyboard. Mary Magdalene didn't get an instrument due to the fact that everyone was paranoid she'd kill the judges or go haywire.

Sister Kate tapped her desk. "Okay everyone, on three play! One, two, three!"

Everyone blared out a random note that when all together, could be powerful enough to make terrorist scream.

"Okay, stop!"

Everyone continued playing random stuff.

"...STOP."

Still playing random stuff? Heck yes.

Sister Kate waved her hands in the air. "STOP STOP STOP STOP!"

Everyone immediately stopped.

Sister Kate sighed. "Look, if your going to be able to beat 'The Greek Ones' you'll have to be MUCH better than that."

Shader raised her hand. "Sister Kate, who are 'The Greek Ones'?"

"Yes well, they're a talented band of Greek musicians who play around in varoius contests and festivals with their famous 'Polka Rock'. So far, they have been undefeated. Hence why they are called 'The Greek Ones' as they will be your biggest opponent in the festival."

Aion stared at Kate wide eyed. "You mean...that WE have to beat some old people from Greece...just for the hell of it!"

"Oh no Aion. If you win you'll get a trophy the size of a cow."

"Homigosh, there's gonna be a cow there! I love cows!" screamed Fiore.

Everyone looked at her all strange.

"What? I love cows. Azmaria even gave me a cow-head pillow for Christmas! Wanna see!" Fiore took out her cow-head pillow.

"Quiet! As long as I am your teacher, you will participate in that festival! Now I want all of you in seperate groups right now! And I don't want you to come back as a whole until you get it perfect!" And with that, Sister Kate grabbed her lesson plans, her purse, a clock and stormed out of the classroom.

"Great! Now what will we do! We're all too dumb to worry about some stupid competition that we'll lose but we're too dumb to do anything useful!" screamed Joshua, who had slammed his dollar store trumpet at the ground.

Rosette picked up the dollar store trumpet, which was miracously, undamaged. "Joshua, you heard what Kate said. We can't practice together as a whole group unless we're divided into mini groups."

Aion rubbed his chin evily."Hm...good point. Okay everyone! Divide into groups now! Me, Joshua, Fiore, Satella and Chrno will be one! Rosette, Azmaria, and you...three nun...chicks...go with Rosette!"

"What about us!" complained an angry Genai and Shader.

"Oh yeaaaaah. Eh, you two can be a group."

Genai and Shader looked at Aion, then at each other, and shrugged.

"Now let the practicing begin!"

ONE WEEK OF HARD TRAINING LATER

Sister Kate walked up the thrity steps. She had not came to school for a week (she forced the principal to give her a vacation) and was a little regretful about what she had said a week ago. It didn't matter anymore because she was already at the 30th story. She took in a deep breath and opened the door. Sounds of a 'professional' band were heard just as she walked it.

"Oh hello Sister Kate!" Rosette said.

"Welcome back!" said Mary Magdalene.

"Wheeeeeee!" Chrno said.

Sister Kate was absolutely amazed by the 'professional' sound of their music. She screamed joyfully, climbed up her desk, and started dancing.

"Sister Kate, are you okay?" asked Fiore.

Kate got down from her desk and breathed deeply. "Haha yes...I'm ok. Hahahaha! Ah..sorry I just...hahahaha! It's just that...you're so much better than the week before when you absolutely sucked."

"So...um...does that mean we can go the the competiton thing?" asked Aion.

"Why yes you can!" she said cheerfuly. Then Sister Kate hugged Aion.

"Ewwww! I got nun germs!" Aion yelled. Then he touched Shader. "HA! You got nun germs!"

THE DAY OF THE COMPETITION

"Dude..." Genai said. "This place is like...huge."

Aion slapped Genai upside the head. "You dumbass! Of course this place is huge! Why else would a competition be held here!"

"Because its...huge?" Genai questioned.

Aion held his hand in front of his face and 'slapped' himself. (a/n: kinda hard to explain but its like hitting yourself on the forehead or something)

Fiore put a finger on her lips and did 'the shuuuushing sound'. "Quiet!" she whispered. "Do you want us to fail!"

Aion and Genai shook their heads no.

Shortly thereafter, everyone arrived in a theater-like room to be evaluated.

An old lady with her hair up in a bun spoke. "Ah, I see we got some new people here."

"Yea yea can we just start now!" Shader screamed.

"Oh yes...whenever you're ready!" she smiled.

Everyone looked at her and shrugged. They looked at Sister Kate for her to give them an order. She nodded.

Then everyone played this really random song that sounds like mexican salsa, the music, not the food dammit.

After a while, they finished their song and the old lady with her hair up in a bun screamed her lungs out. She was definatelly not the kind old lady you just see in a supermarket.

"WHAT...THE HELL WAS THAT! THAT WAS UTTER CRAP! YOU SUCKED!" she screamed.

"Alright that's it!" Aion said. Then he opened his suitcase and out came a giant robot the size of the Statue of Liberty.

All the girls screamed.

Then the giant robot thing went rampid and smashed everything. It made things in blazes, things blow up, people running the heck outta here...yup. Just a normal, normal day for Pandemonium to come by. Yup.

"Aion! Make it stooooop!" Rosette yelled from all the screaming people.

"OH FIIIINE! First, Sister Kate makes me compete in some stupid competition, second, Chrno wants a giant robot to run rampid in New York and now, you want the stupid robot dead! Well I ain't doing it!" Aion complained. "That's all you guys do! Complain!"

"Ahahahahahahahah!" a voice evily laughed.

Meanwhile, Shader actually cared enough to be smart and go hook a hose onto a fire hydrant to drown the flames in watery goodness.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh! Water! NOOOOOOOO!" Then, out came an old guy (no offense) with an afro, a lady wearing different boxes, another guy who was bald, and some dog covered in peanut butter.

"...What the heck are you!" said Shader.

The old guy with the afro coughed. "Ah...we are..." Then came in his weird battle/disco pose. "THE GREEK ONES! FEAR US!"

Fiore blinked. "What the heck! Your just a bun'cha old people!"

"How dare you say that to my husband!" said the lady wearing boxes.

Joshua, Genai, Azmaria (who we all know, was probably asleep by now), Rosette and the three nuns made shifty eyebrows.

"What? Didn't we say we were...THE GREEK ONES!" they all screamed.

Sister Kate sighed. "Yeah, whatever."

The Greek One's eyes widened. "WHAT! You can't say that at an oldie! Give respect to your elders!"

Sister Kate also made 'the shifty eyebrows'. "...YO MAMA!"

The guy with the afro gasped. "NO! NOT MY MAMA!"

Aion, Genai and Shader snickered.

"OH YES YO MAMA!" said Sister Kate. "YO MAMA IS SO DUMB, SHE SITS ON THE STOVE, AND STARES AT THE FOOD!"

"NOOOOOOO NOT MY MAMA!"

"OH YES YO MAMA! JOE MAMA!"

Joshua looked at Rosette. "Sis, I don't get 'Joe Mama'."

Rosette patted Joshua on the back. "It's alright dear brother. Everything is fine."

Joshua still looked confused. "...'Joe Mama'?"

Everyone snickered.

Delicate tears began forming in Joshua's eyes. "Joe Mama?...What the hell is that!"

THE END

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Shwooo! So I kinda updated a little too late, so sue me. Hope you readers stil like this story though, cause I'm thinking about making a sequel out of this. (hint hint nudge nudge) 


	12. The Best Cooking Show EVERRRR

First off I'm sorry for all of the people who liked this fanfiction out there (haha long word for "fans") cause...the authoress (which is me, midnightdothack blagbladfd) got sick, went to an orchestra concert and has one coming up, has to practice for a upcoming piano recital (urgh), study for final exams coming up, make up a text, got sick (again) and the list goes on.

... Anyway I'm annoncing some news for 'Random Stories of the Magdalene Order' and you fans out there.

Bad news. This fanfic will be planned to end around 18-28 chapters...

Good news! After this fanfic will be completed, it will possible have a sequel or 2! Of course this idea _isn't_ final yettttt...

Uh...yea. The rest of the crap is written on the bottom so I don't spoil your mood for reading this...read, review and enjoy.

((btw, feel free to express your opinions don't flame for no aparent reason please in your review!))

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**

**The Best Cooking Show Ever. **

**(EVEERRR!)**

Aion came to school late one day.

"SISTER KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEE!" he yelled from the 19th story, then the 20th, 21st, 22nd, and on.

"SISTER KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEE! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYY!"

Then he made it to the 30th story, at last. He burst opened the door to tell Sister Kate his awesome idea, because awesome ideas are awesome like that.

"SisterKateSisterKateSisterKateSisterKateguesswhat!Ihaveasupersupersupercoolideaformeandtheotherdemons!"

Everyone including Sister Kate, looked at him weird. "What is it Aion?" she asked.

Aion heavily panted. "I have the coolest idea! We can raise money for stuff by making a cooking show! Isn't it awesome!"

Rosette glared evily at him. "We never needed to raise any money. I bet we have enough."

Shader nodded her head. "So true, you dumbass."

"Now hold on. Aion may have a good idea." Sister Kate said. "Now what was your great idea."

Aion glared evily. "I just told you! A _japanese_ cooking show! We can have American Sumos and-and-and-and SUSHI!"

"Homigawsh! Sushi! I LOOOOVE Sushi!" Fiore yelled out, waving her arms frantically in the air because she felt like it.

Joshua couldn't help but cringe and slowly turn his head toward Aion. "You know this is gonna be a bad thing right?"

Aion looked at Joshua with shifty eyes. "How's it gonna be bad?"

"First. The only people who CAN actually cook are Fiore, Satella, Shader and Genai..." Joshua sighed. "Second, we're just gonna cause chaos around us like we usually do. And thirdly..." Joshua took a moment to glare at a sleeping and drooling Chrno. "Chrno's gonna ruin it all anyway."

"So what if we only have one guy who can cook...and so what if we're stupid idiots who'll mess up anyway, we'll try!" Aion patted Joshua on the shoulder reassuringly.

"That's right!" said Sister Kate. "We can ask Remington if we can use the storage room on the 16th story for broadcasting, and I'm sure Remington will also have free props for us to use. And we will start it today!"

"But Sister Ka-- -" butted in Shader.

"Ah! Ah! No 'buts' Shader! We will do this!"

Of course, that wasn't what Shader was going to say. What she was gonna say however, was that it was "Teacher Appreciation Week" and the principal had given special Remington a week off to visit Pearl Harbor in Hawaii so Remington wasn't in the gym. Why would the principal choose Remington for a vacation and not the others? Cause Remington was special. Plus he was the only gym teacher so might as well do something special for him...

"Ah fudge it," Sister Kate said, once she found out the news herself. "We'll just skip to art class now."

10 MINUTES LATER...

Fiore was sketching away with a really cool picture until...

"Floretta, may I ask what you are drawing?" asked her sister, Satella.

Fiore blinked rapidly, then showed Satella her drawing.

"Sis...why did you draw a guy in black..."

"Hm? Oh its just a guy..."

"And may I ask why he is wearing the...!"

"Waaah! I didn't mean to! I though it was funny!"

"Floretta, may I ask you another question?"

"Yes?"

"...If he's a...you-know-what, why is he holding..." she pointed to what she was refering to on Fiore's drawing. "...a _fudge-sicle_?

"...I though it was cute!" Fiore gave out a weird smile.

Satella groaned. "Some sister..."

ONE WEEK LATER AFTER REMINGTON IS BACK...

...TO THE FOOD CHANNEL, FOODY 4U...(yes they named their food channel 'Foody 4U')

"Alright! Is everything set!" yelled Chrno.

"Shut up Chrno, stop being an idiot," Rosette said, who was in charge of ordering people around and making sure they were on time.

Chrno began to have that puppy dog look on his face.

"Aww..." Rosette kissed him on the forehead. Then pointed to a nearby chair for him to sit on. "And we're gonna be on in...4...5...7...2...no wait. Joshua! Your 'problem' is getting to meeee! Ah whatever! 5...4...3...2...1...GO!"

Bright lights began to zoom everywhere as the stage finally revealed itself; some shiny countertops, a stove, microwave and lots of cooking applianced all in a box.

"Welcome kids to our japanese pretty cooking show!" Aion said, skidding onto the shiny floor onstage. "I'm Aion, yourrrrrr japanese awesome head cooker! And herereeeeeeeessss...JOSHUA!"

Clapping ensued and crowd went wild. Only Joshua never came onstage.

"Ehehe...we'll be right back after a sudden commerical!" Aion said gleefully, then went backstage, where Joshua was, wearing a bright pink apron with hearts and polka-dots everywhere and with a big pocket.

Joshua whined. "I'm not going out there wearing this!" he pointed to his pink apron.

"Nonsense!" Aion exclaimed, grabbing Joshua by the arm to front stage. "Besides, you might pick up hot chicks in that."

Joshua groaned. If there was any chick he was going to be picking up, It'd be...himself. If he were a girl.

Suddenly, explosions came from the front studio.

"Whoa!" Aion tried to speak through all the thick black smoke as he walked through to the front. "Who is it now! I'm not gonna let some stupid little smoke ruin my japanese cooking show unless..."

Of course, Aion was interrupted in though when Shader (who was the prop manager) had brough some of her cough drops and threw it at the smoke, thinging that "The new fad is throwing cough drops at smoke!"

Well...sad to say Shader's way of going with the new fads didn't work, but the smoke cleared out eventually to reveal a familiar old guy with an afro, an old lady wearing boxes, another old guy who was bald, and a dog covered in Peanut Butter and Jelly.

"Hey...I think those old people look familiar," Genai commented.

"Really?" noted Azmaria. "Oh heeyyyyy they do. Yooohooo! Old people!"

Satella couldn't help but get out one of those japanese style paper fans and smack Azmaria with it. "Respect your elders, girl!"

"Ugh...what's up with the dog!" Rosette said, disgusted.

"Maybe it could be a chihuahua! CHIWAWA!" Chrno yellled exited.

"QUIET EVERYBODY!" the afro old guy roared.

Silence filled the whole studio.

"Ahem thank you. Now of course you know us..." the afro guy said. "Because we are...THE GREEK ONES!"

"Uh huh. Yea. Who are you again?" Aion asked.

"WE JUST TOLD YOU!" the box-wearing lady pouted. "We're the Greek Ones! Y'know...the greek band...and the festival thing that we saw you at...right?"

"Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." Rosette remembered. "You're those old people we saw at that festival magiger thing."

"Yea...and why are you here again?" Genai rudely interupted.

"After that incident with my husband and the group," the boxed lady explained. "we were totally ashamed and went in hiding for 5 minutes, thinking of all the horrible things you younglings have done to us seniors! Bah-hum-bug! You don't visit us, shower us with hugs or gifts, give us an respect and make so many jokes about us!"

"And your point issssss...what?" Fiore asked, quickly motioning her hand in a circular form.

"Well that's the point." the bald guy pointed out. "BUT NOW! WE HAVE YOUR SUPER! DOOOPHER! GIANT ROBOT YOU CARELESSLY LEFT BEHIND BACK AT THE FESTIVAL! MWAHAHAHAHHAH!" and with that, a giant robot popped up from underground and appeared in the sky so high...

"Heyyyyy now thats a pretty robot. Wouldn't wanna ruin thaaaatt..." Fiore commented, as if she were a drunkee or had smelled a Sharpie too much. "UNLESS I HAD...THIS!" and from under her dress thing, Fiore pulled out a shotgun and pointed it at the freakisly huge robot. "It's a shotgun, Mr. Robot, so make sure you don't die right away, o-kayyyyy? READYORNOTANYTHINGBLAHBLAHBLAH!" and with that...Fiore frantically shooted as if there were no tomorrow.

"Geh! Is Fiore alright?" Shader asked Genai.

"Oh she'll be fine. Give or take 5 hours before the effect goes," Genai replied. "She's a tough girl for a maid lady..."

And all through the night, you could probably still hear Fiore's crazy screaming and shooting.

"I LIKE PANCAKES!"

THE END

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I must admit, however, the ending...SUCKED. And yea I know i probably have a habit of doing so but eh...but I hope it was still good. got to see some crazy fiore stuff even though it was extremely OOC (out of character), but it was interesting to see how a crazy fiore would be like.

now notes!

- "old people" from the last chapter (Chapter 11 - March of the Band People)

and thats it! sorry for any errors (lazy to read over) and remember to read and review! oh wait...eh nevermind.


	13. A date with Chrno and Rosette

Well special treat for you all RosetteChrno fans. This chapter will be about...how Chrno gets a date with Rosette! Whoo!

Aff sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry! My computer was TOTALLY broken during the whole summer and when I used both of my dad's computers, they both tried to kill themselves. Meep. I'm terribly and extremely sorry for anyone who has been waiting a while for a new chapter...

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**Chrno's Date with Rosette **

**(or the Day more Stuff happened)**

The "School of Magdalene Order" was unusually quiet nowadays and it's students on the 30th floor seemed to be gloomy as ever. Fiore didn't felt like cooking/reading/doing homework or anything, Satella didn't want to beat the crap out of stuff, Aion actually behaved for a long time, Rosette stopped being noisy, and Shader stopped cussing. Chrno, however didn't seem to be at school for the moment.

Sister Kate walked into the classroom door and had a shocked face once she examined every little pupil of hers. "What's wrong with you all? Are you sad because your 'peoplefriends' dumped you? Has someone died?"

Joshua took a long sigh and tiredly gave Azmaria his notes to copy, although she was sleeping. "No someone hasn't died, Sister Kate." he said, monotonious and bored to heck.

"Well what IS it then? Do you have some disease that will make you die in six months or something? Did you take some medication?" Sister Kate was extremely anxious to know.

Everyone took a moment to stare at Kate, then shrugged. "I don't know. There's just... nothing to do." Satella sighed and fell face-first down her desk, snoring. Fiore, who was sitting the desk beside her, completely ignored her snoring and tried to keep awake by chewing her math notebook. _Maybe if I told Sister Kate that I ate my notes she'll let met go_, Fiore though.

"We could all go to the arcade then!" Sister Kate spoke out loud."Is that it? Or-or we could go to Wal-Mart and buy things as much as we want! And maybe a circus! Or the beach! Maybe even make a movie!"

Shader, taken in by boredom, fell out of her desk and didn't even try to get up. Genai just kicked her like a rag doll.

Sister Kate folded her arms patiently until she somehow couldn't take it anymore. She walked to her giant white cabinet (which seemed to suddenly appear all of a sudden) and took out a couple of boxes and set them down on her desk.

"Heyyyyy. Isn't it that one cabinent where you told us that we couldn'ts open it or touch it?" Rosette slurred.

"Oh shut up." Azmaria tried to kick Rosette in the shins but her feet didn't even move.

"C'mon people! Liven up! It's not a Monday or anything so why all the gloomy faces? Maybe I should have Remington come over and teach health or something." Sister Kate said, rubbing her chin. "Anyway these boxes are very special! You know what they are? Yes, they're... well let's try this one. This one is a Playstation 2 with a Playstation 2 inside it!"

Silence...

"Urgh. That's it. I give up. I quit my job." Kate muttered under her breath. Then without thinking, opened and jumped out of the window. That however, actually surprised most of the class, which got out of their seats to see if she actually made it but they couldn't see anything except Remington giving a stern talk to some troublemakers.

"Dang. I didn't know she was serious about su...su...su...What was that word again?" Rosette asked.

"Sue-eee-cide?" Genai replied, cleaning his desk with a bottle of water he found.

"Yeah yeah that's it." Rosette sighed and looked at the time. Chrno still wasn't here. Usually, his screaming and random acts would drive anyone crazy, especially her but for some reason she missed that hyper Chrno.

Suddenly the doors burst open to reveal... CHRNO.

And as happy and hyper as ever.

"WHAT UP PEOPLE?" he said, rather loudly.

Shader couldn't help but cover her ears. "Chrno, could you be a little quieter for at least 5 seconds or something?"

"Awww...okay." Chrno waited for 5 seconds. "NOW!"

Rosette groaned, then purposely hit her head on the wall.

"Hey Rosette!" Chrno said, walking up to her. "Let's go on a date!" he whispered, running frantically and dragging Rosette behind him to outside.

Unfortuatelly for him, Satella, Joshua, Fiore and Aion were nearby and had overheard what he whispered.

"Interesting," Joshua said. "Maybe now we actually have something to do." Joshua quietly scuffled to the door while being undetected and motioned his hand for Satella, Fiore and Aion to follow him.

Unfortunatelly to them, Shader had overheard them and wanting to do something, followed them.

A WHILE LATER...

"HEY CHRNO! SLOW DOWN FOR ONCE, WILL YA!" Rosette barked. Chrno was still running to nowhere in particular and paid no attention to Rosette. It took him, however, a full 30 seconds to actually stop for once making Rosette slip and slide to a metal pole face first, making a (nice) imprint on her face.

"Oh?" Chrno walked toward Rosette. "Did this pole did that ugly mark to you?" Rosette became infurated with rage that she choped off a stop sign and smacked Chrno with that sign. "YOU...FRIGGING IDIOT! Don't you know any better!" she yelled while she was having fun smacking the heck out of Chrno. Chrno could help but utter out a small whine. It was only until five minutes later did Chrno began to cry.

Meanwhile Satelle, Joshua, Fiore and Aion were watching him from afar a small cafe. "Horrible...just horrible." Fiore had to comment. "No respect at all."

"More like Savage weenies," Aion said, sipping some hot coffee. "BIG Savage weenies..." he nodded in agreement to himself.

" 'Savage weenies?'" Joshua asked. _I wonder if I can ever catch this 'Savage Weenie' one day_, Joshua thought, looking at Rosette.

Shader was watching them from afar the bathroom, eyeing them through a crack in the wooden door. _Savage Weenies? _she though. _Has Aion been playing too many video games?_

"Alright alright alright!" Chrno whined, tears forming between his closed eyelids. Rosette bent down besides him and gave him a light smack in the face. Unfortunatelly it only made the situation worser as he was wailing tears. Rosette almost felt sorry for him.

"Ah... I'm sorry. Did I go too far?" she asked potitely in a sweet tone. Chrno nodded solemly and he sniffed.

"I'm sorry." Rosette gave Chrno a half hug then pushed him up, making Chrno a bit happier and normal-er.

"Felt better?" she asked. Chrno gave Rosette a small nod while eyeing a very shiny spoon dropped on the sidewalk. "SPOON!" he spat out gleefuly. "YAY SPOONY!" Chrno took the small but shiny spoon into his custody until he eyed a dull fork nearby.

"FORK! WHEE!" he threw away the spoon and hugged his new fork companion the grabbed Rosette's arm for a day of fun and amusement. Hence... the amusement fun park.

AT THE PARK...

"Hey Aion," Satella angrily muttered. "Tell me again why we agreed to take Shader with us?" she asked, hold up a Shader dressed up in a Cat costume.

"Because... she wanted to?" Aion scratched his head in confusion.

Everyone looked at him like they were all going to kill him.

"YesyesyesyeyesyesyesShewantedtookay?" Aion weeped like a little kid while he spotted a familiar person in the distance.

"No freaking way! Is that..." But before he could even finish his sentence, Fiore and Joshua gave him his slap-a-day.

Shader began to look up at the sky and noticed an incredibly shiny object in the distance, that looked like a star. "Hey. Wazzat!" she asked, pointing at the shiny star-like object.

"That would be... a UFO." Fiore said, getting nervous and nervous by the second as the image got closer and more visible. Until... the UFO crashed right where Aion was at and sent him flying like Superman.

"HOLY COW. IT'S A UFO!" Joshua yelled, running around like crazy. "AWMIGAWD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIEEEE!"

-Will Rosette and Chrno have the "perfect date"? Will aliens really do something to the earth? And will Joshua stop screaming around like crazy?"

* * *

haha well the UFO thing was just a random little thing I added into the story for some weird climax thing.

once again i'm terribly sorry for not updating over the past... 5 months or so. (sobs) I so terrible when it comes to compters hahaha... (stays quiet and gets back to working on all those other stuff that she needs to do)

read and review please? it'll boost my motivation for the story.


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